2008年2月22日

[語言學習] 陳冠希道歉聲明實在寫得好

千呼萬喚之下,裸照風波的男主角終於站出來面對大眾。昨天在電視看到他的道歉聲明,不禁叫一聲好。這篇演講辭寫得很出色,每字每句都簡單直接,但說起來感情豐富,令人動容;而且內容亦很得體。撰稿人實在是高手中之高手。

開頭一句已令人眼前一亮:

Today I have come back to Hong Kong to stand before you and account for myself.

短短一句就表明自己願意承擔,一洗以往逃避責任的形象。接著他承認自己就是拍照者,同時表明從沒想過讓第三者看到:

I I admit that most of the photos being circulated on the Internet were taken by me. But these photos were very private and have not been shown to people and were never intended to be shown to anyone.

留意這幾句巧妙地運用被動式。如果這句寫成主動的話:I took the photos 和 I never intended to show,聽者很容易會聯想到主語「我」和動詞「拍照」及「公開相片」的關係。誰說主動句一定比被動句好?

他坦承責任之餘,同時以強硬而不煽情的措詞指出盜相者的惡意和罪行:Stolen illegally,without my consent,malicious,deliberate。但這只佔極少篇幅,演辭其他部份都用來向受害人和全港市民道歉。這一著很是高明,能很有效地擺脫那個深深不憤的受害者形象。

他道歉的語句也極誠懇,好像以下幾句:

I give my apology sincerely to you all, unreservedly and with my heart.

I hope, after today, I can have your forgiveness. With regards to thise case, with everything, everything that has happened, I am deeply sorry.


當然,陳的聲明非全無沙石,例如 with malicious and deliberate intent 一句就犯了語義重覆(redundancy)的毛病,因為意圖 intent 本來就含 deliberate 之意,所以說 deliberate intent 就像說 past history,free gift 一樣徒廢唇舌,其實寫 with malicious intent 就可以了。若要保留鏗鏘的節奏,則可改寫成 malicious and evil/felonious/destructive intent。另一句:apologise to everyone in HK and everyone in our society 亦有近似的毛病。不過這些瑕疵關係不大,因為整篇實在寫得太好,也講得太好。

不必理甚麼深字淺字,長句短句,總之最能有效表達自己的,就是好的語文。陳冠希的道歉聲明,就是個好例子,也是香港近年少見的出色演講。

轉載: 蕭愷一

PS:英文是陳的母語,以英文發表道歉聲明,自然不過;叫他用廣東話反而別扭。

陳冠希的英文水平超過了專業八級



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2 則留言:

匿名 說...

唔好咁蠢啦...
篇野擺明係背後d公關, 律師幫佢寫架啦, 劇照稿讀架咋...

Funny Video Tube 說...

雖然是很明顯地造出來的,但都要男主角再加上其他人(林生、公關、律師)配合下,才能得出現在的效果。最重要一點是,他那份誠熱,他多次向受害者、市民致歉,筆者不知道他是否真心,但他那份誠熱就值得加許,望事件能快淡忘!

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